I've been wanting to photograph three finished projects and post about one of them since last week, the fact I managed to shoot not even one of them made me bitchier than usual.
YOU ARE WARNED.
But enough about me, let's dive into this review of "Sewing Rectangles Magazine":
You have your sheer rectangle with rectangle-shaped seams and a bow....
The rectangle shirt with asymmetrical hem and rectangular sleeves...
The rectangular lace top with a rectangular lining...
The rect.... WOT?!
A rectangular sleeveless sweater with a rectangular panel of lace peeking out and a triangular cutout?
OH MY GOD! I've been waiting all my life for this!
GENIUS!
But if you're a plus-sized lady, don't be afraid, Burda will help you look as big, boxy and dowdy as you can:
If a model can look this bad in these clothes, so can you!
If you're eyes aren't hurting enough yet, feast on these granny panties: they're perfect to look as if you're wearing a diaper!
And what about this little number? They were so kind as to style it as tragically as usual, so that we just couldn't ignore how ugly it is!
The funny thing is, if you chop this pattern at the waist, it makes one the few patterns I like in this issue:
Cute, right? What a difference a ruffled hem makes...
And these two are probably the only two other things that picked my interest in this issue (the second one being a vintage pattern... duh), although I'm too consumed by my own sarcasm to give them a decent commentary.
Seriously, guys... WTF? The FIVE "variation on a rectangle" patterns could be a new low for Burda.
Am I right?
I am SO glad I didn't renew my subscription...
My version (in Dutch) included a survey asking about how satisfied you were... I'm tempted to ask for a few more challenging projects than easy rectangles.
ReplyDeleteAnd oh my, how bad is that plus size dress??? It looked sort of cute in the line drawing but they completely killed all potential with that length and the stiff fabric. Ugh.
I usually count patterns that I like, so this magazine I will buy, I like dresses, cardigan with pockets, red jumper and something else, so these rectangles don´t bother me%)))
ReplyDeleteHaha I love your reviews! Also I noticed again a certain affinity for bracelets...
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I liked about this issue was that the plus size model actually looked to be plus size and not just a size 10. Doesn't mean I'll be wearing any of these sad clothes though...
ReplyDeleteMy oh my, those Burda designers, what will they think of next? Perhaps inventing a new shape like...a circle? ;)
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahahaha the only reason I would want you to renew your subscription is so I could have more of this, but I understand that might be too painful for you. Hilarious! x
ReplyDeletehahahahah you kill me. i read every single one of your review posts and i've never even seen a burdastyle magazine in real life.
ReplyDeleteThe day this issue came I was so excited. I needed a sewing mag and cuppa coffe after a long day. Sat down with my cup and mag, only to be disappointed by this craptacular issue. The coffee was good though.
ReplyDeletewow, that's impressive, they are so... innovative! Avant gardiste!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, did they mislabel the Burda Easy mag? I'm so glad I never suscribed for that cr*p, it's just getting worse and worse...
As always you bring it to the point... rectangle WTF! I think it IS a new low for burda and I will cancel my subscription as soon as possible. Don't know what is going on at burda... maybe an editor change? The last half year the issues got more and more HORRIBLE!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your review... :)
Greetings,
Teal
Well, I "rave" about some Burda style patterns, but these are from old issues. They changed the name 2009 to "burda style" to make it younger, I think. They changed the editor...
ReplyDeleteI'm German so I use the German burda style site, there you find more patterns then at the international burdastyle.com.As you can see on my blog I sew a lot of burda patterns, but that happens because it's hard for me to get Vogue, McCalls or Butterick patterns...
I'm sorry, but that grey sweatshirt and lime lace with v-neck is one of the ugliest things I've seen in years. Yuk. And could someone tell pattern designers that not all larger ladies want to hide in tents? Actually I've seen uglier plus-size things from Burda, but this doesn't excuse the dearth of thought behind the rectangles. Rectangles and draping can be gorgeous....look at some the things Kazz the Spazz has done, but these? Shoddy.
ReplyDeleteI honestly think we need an advanced burda! From an editorial point of view I feel they are trying to catch new sewers... Having said that more balance would be appreciated. Like the bottom 2 dresses
ReplyDeleteWow. Just wow. I have never bought a Burda magazine (the stacked patterns terrfy me!) but I do enjoy these posts :-) I'm kind of sad you've stopped your subscription......!
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't mean I will stop writing reviews! Luckily, Burda publishes all the photos and technical drawings online, so I don't need to buy an issue to see what's inside it!
ReplyDeleteHURRAY!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. Although I don't see how anyone can be attracted by those monstrosities... Beginners have taste too, Burda!
ReplyDeleteTotally, this is the wrong way to use geometry!
ReplyDeleteUntil a few months back, the plus size patterns were usually very flattering and quite chic too. They've taken a wrong turn, now.
Fuck thats ugly! I'm sorry but I just had to use that four letter word. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING????
ReplyDeleteyeah, I'll go back to old Burdas for inspiration
ReplyDeleteHa you crack me up! I have been looking for something to make me look frumpy and fat - thanks so much for pointing me in the right direction!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness for coffee!
ReplyDelete...and I guess I'm not making you feel like seeing one anytime soon, am I? XD
ReplyDeleteLuckily, Burda puts all of their photos and technical drawings online, so I don't have to buy the issue to write a review! I wish the LMB people did the same!
ReplyDeleteDon't make suggestions like, it could be dangerous!!!
ReplyDeleteBefore discovering indie patterns, I only had Burda, so those were the only patterns I used to use. And there were some very good ones, too! But as Sea of Teal wrote, the magazine changed so much in the last couple years, and not in a good way.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with her on the Burda/Big 4 question. The big 4 are quite expensive here in Europe and not too easy to get, so it's easier and cheaper to use Burda.
Although it's hard for me to go back to Burda now, tracing patterns from those horrible, intricate sheets and add seam allowance is a pain in the butt once you get used to indie patterns!
The magazine is very popular in Russia, check burdastyle.ru, you will find a lot of made dresses from magazine.
ReplyDeleteOh, jeez... Right now, the LMB stylist and the Burda one might be out together shopping for bracelets.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid the two of us are never going to see eye to eye about this magazine :)
ReplyDeleteIf I had to send comments to them, I would write more than in any of my Uni dissertations... Please speak your mind to them, I'm sure it would help!
ReplyDeleteMay be I am so generous because it costs me 2 euro? 5 patterns for 2 euro - I count this good deal%))
ReplyDeleteWow, that's almost one third of what it costs here!!!
ReplyDeleteThat four letter word was repeated MANY times in my head while preparing this review...
ReplyDeleteYesss, iy is pretty cheap in Russia, may be because we have a lot of sewing magazines and if it costs 6 euro nobody will buy it?
ReplyDeleteI like some of what they do when they don't try to be edgy and easy, and I've made a coat, a pair of pants and a shirt from the magazine. There are a few dresses I'd like to make as well. In general the patterns are well-drafted, they just release a whole load of crap as well so it gets hard to still see the good stuff.
ReplyDeleteYes I sew lots of them. It works out really cheaply compared to buying single patterns, they are here in my house so if I feel like making something I can find a pattern and I must be a bit strange (!) because sometimes I just like spending an evening tracing, kind of mindless but satisfying. I have a subscription started in September last year - love a few of the issues sep12, nov13, feb14, others not so much. I think after a year I will have enough patterns to keep me going for a looooong time. So there is good and bad in them. I agree I am not inspired by these patterns, although the twisted reclangle t looks like it could be nice,
ReplyDeleteheh You are soo right on these! I always feel like they try to dup us by showing the same design but altering it by cutting off the skirt (on a dress) to make a blouse.... as if we wouldn't notice.
ReplyDeleteI get the burdastyle updates in my email list and I'm always surprised to see people commenting positively on some of these horrible rectangles.
Thanks for telling it as it really is! :)
I like a lot of the patterns from the website, and I was considering a subscription this year. But after a few of your reviews, I think I'll skip it! There seems to be more junk than good stuff. I'll just stick to the occasional download when I find something I really like.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reviewing it. So true! I got mine the other day (gift subscription) and just threw it at the sofa, everything looked so fugly. Think I'll ebay it and/or ask for my money back on this issue. Can I do that?
ReplyDeleteYowza, these are spectacularly bad! I particularly love the weird yellow cupcake-y purse accessorizing the horrible black and green dress-- well done, Burda! Gruesome.
ReplyDeletethey should stop publishing this magazine if they just produce repetitive, boring patterns. doesn't give so much inspiration at all.
ReplyDeleteWow. That is one majorly unflatter plus-sized dress! And some of those rectangle tops? Especially the one with the weird lace bottom? Oh my.
ReplyDeletethis is hilarious.
ReplyDeletethat said, i totally want the baggy floral pants in rectangular shot numero two.
My subscription has been abandoned too...
ReplyDeleteI just love your reviews! I can't wait to read them every month! ;) I agree, those rectangles are awful. But, for Burda lovers (or for older patterns of it you might love), there's a Burda sew along. You can go check it our here: macskakat(dot)wordpress(dot)com
ReplyDeleteIn any language: hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI bought it and i'm disappointed too...I can't understand why Burda lowered its quality so much. Maybe it's a matter of this year's fashion? Or something deeper? Anyway, I hope it is temporary!
ReplyDeleteThis issue just seems horrendous. OMG, as a beginner, even I am not that desperate that I can only sew a rectangle - the best thing to come from it is your review, which has made my afternoon! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI challenge myself to make at least one pattern each month from the magazine, some moths are harder than others though! I'm currently struggling with April. so am not looking forward to May either now
ReplyDeleteWell... it is really below the lowest level...no, no Burda for me.
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought you was being a little unfair because I quite liked the jumpsuit from this issue. Then, I looked back at the styles you posted and have to agree, I would not sew one of them! But I do stand by the jump suit ;o)
ReplyDeleteHave a good one!
Ruth
Yes! This is definitely a new low. I haven't bought a Burda issue in ages. I bought a couple last fall with some good patterns. Since then nothing good has come around. Every month I look at the new issue and am somewhat disappointed. :(
ReplyDeleteOh u just crack me up with ur post about the Burda patterns!! Sooooo true and bless u for being honest and funny about the dire stuff they have selected over the last couple of selection boards they sent out! I will follow u with interest- what I have seen so far of ur stuff gives me hope for the future of dressmaking for the fun of it etc. so glad u love sewing!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, that was so sweet!
ReplyDelete